Bonga

I am 20 and I feel like I want to commit sicide each and every day. I am the last birn of a fam of three, each person in my family tells me I have a problem and I should fix it.. I know I don't have a prob inspie of my elder siblings wanting to step on me but I don't let them, I've been viewing YouTube videos and reading books to know they are scapegoating me. My mum recently has been ill and she was admitted to hospital she's home now tho when she was still there my two sisters were literally attacking me on diff occasions of which I think were totally unnecessary. My mum is now home and she doesn't appreciate anything I do to help her feel comfortable. When I'm tired and askfor a sec she takes me through guilt trips. She is so narcissistic and sucks the life out of me. I feel like she's making me pay for everything shehas done for me. And shetakes every little chanceshe gets to tell the whole world about my shortcomings. When she notices I don't give her attention she withdraws giving me the simplest of things like airtime. I go to uni far enough to live on my own and I am honestly thinking my fam does not have my best interst at heart. I just want to die or go far enough to never see them again. When she's good she's good but its awful wjen she's bad. 

I'm married to a beautiful and loving wife and we have 3 adorable kids. My problem is that, am unable to overcome porn since high school through my bachelor years and now marriage. It depresses me a lot since the addiction has affected my sexual life and i feel most of the times as a failure. am unable to talk to anyone as i feel bad about myself and slowly am falling into alchoholism. Should i just walk away from my marriage until i fix my problems? mind you, my kids and wife live a lavish life and wont suffer as i have a great business and they will only miss me for a few months..

My life is a mess, i'm in my last year of campus, I was supposed to be my father's saving grace, since my sisters before me didn't finish school, they all got pregnant.But I also got pregnant, and there's no waking moment that i'm not reminded how much of a disapointment I am. Now I can't even finish school. Everyone stopped supporting us, I can't get a job, because I have anxiety disorders and I can't hold proper conversations..I'm sooo tired, I'm at the verge of just giving up. But I can't, and that's even worse...

I feel neglected. Unwanted. Unworthy of happiness. The major life events in my life have all been negative. Is death easier than life? 

I feel sad ... I don't know why but I just do. 

hy im am 29 years old i still am in university.i had surgery for brain tumour twice then i had to undergo chemotherapy,after that we had to move alot from one place to another due to this alot of time has been wasted.i tried to get job but without a degree i cant one, im so frustuated dnt wht to do

What is love?

Few years ago i was in love, we had amazing times together. We had sex couple of times but coz of my ex behaviors we decided to get tested. Turns out i was ok and + was my love... Should have ended it thea, but i consider myself a good guy. Stuck with her, we got thru it with   somany up and downs. Everything was rosy and heck she got pregnant. What a joy a baby can bring. Then it hit me, she is +, and my baby is on meds frm day one. That shit still hurts. Baby is fine thou, negative and all. But our marriage is on the rocks and the worst thing is she doesn't know it. I cheated to deal with the anxiety, the stress. Sunk into depression for a while. I resent and regret ths marriage. I had an option of bn an active baby daddy, but i didn't thnk then ths shiet will haunt me for so long. I don't enjoy sex with her   more and the worst part of all ths is she has no clue or maybe she suspects and can't say a word. What do i do

I suffered anxiety once last year and because of the experience I usually become really frustrated when I think about how traumatizing being in a dark place is and especially because you can't describe what it is you feel at that moment to anyone. Because they won't understand. I have fallen in and out of depression many times by just talking myself in and out of it it's annoying. 

Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts because you have tried to get yourself out of a situation that just seems impossible to quit so your only exit strategy is death?