Bonga

A few years ago my husband retired. We lived in the capital but after retirement he moved to our rural home and our son and I remained due to my work and our son's school. A few months after the move I started suspecting he was seeing someone else. I asked him and he denied. The person I suspected was working at our home. So she was many times there when I would go. Long story short he had been sleeping with her all these years - about 4 years now. Last week I went home and she was in the house and so I asked why she was there because normally she works outside. I was told in my face that he is now with her. I was so hurt broken I immediately returned to the capital. I feel a hurt ache that is calling for suicide but each time I feel ready to execute I remember our son and I stop. I am afraid I will end up doing it.

  Published  1st Jul 2019 at 9:28 pm

You have a son ma'am. Focus on both your futures fisrt let God do the rest. It hurts, i know but suicide isn't going to fix it. And you won't do it because you love your son and wouldn't want to leave him who would he have to call mum. Live life with your eyes on the future

  Published  2nd Jul 2019 at 1:46 am

I'm sorry.

  Published  2nd Jul 2019 at 10:01 am

Speaking from the perspective of a child who's grown up in such a household...

You can't live for him because you also have a life of your own. You are an individual who can do so much more, focus on being strong for both you and your son. That doesn't mean you shouldn't hurt.. Feel it just don't let it consume you. He has power over you because he knows you're so focused on what he's doing and paying less attention to you. He married you and not the other way around, and he's the one who opted to step out. Its not about what you did or ought to have done but its about respect and I'm sure you have your ans to that. On to suicide: that will hurt your son and family+friends more than it will hurt him because clearly he's moved on. Cry it out, re invent yourself because when God made you, he didn't make a mistake.. You are special to someone and you are responsible for the decisions you decide to make.. Learn to live and stop existing, take back the power to be a woman, a human being who deserves honor, respect and a great shot at life...

Live and forgive (both him for he hurt and you for allowing it)

  Published  4th Jul 2019 at 9:47 pm