Bonga

I was raised partially with my mum... so there's 1-2-3 things she doesn't understand about me completely.
Because of that reason, all my life since Primary level I have witnessed her do petty things repeatedly in different occasions that don't please me untill collage was over. Today, she's doing the same things but this time round they hurt me so much that I often feel like maybe, just maybe I am not her real child or something like that. Its so painfull that I see no purpose in life.. all she does is hurt me. Most of my plans are failing here and there because she taks ill of them so I never progress in life. been stuck here for the longest! I can't talk more cuz it burns my head... very personal; internet cant give me a shoulder to lean on.

Anyway, I know, the most strong bond should be parent to child but I feel like am forcing myself on her. She doesn't care at all.... am that person when am sick, if am not consious is when people around will admit am sick. Been talking to few I trust but no one seem to care that deppression is eating me out.  Any help how to handle her?

  Published  16th Aug 2018 at 3:03 pm

Hi. I am glad that you took time to share, if her behavior has been consistent, then its time to realize you might not be the problem, and she might be just projecting what she is going through onto you. Like you, she cannot show it out there and home, is a safe space to be herself though she comes off as being brush. Since you are an adult now, you can seat her down and start with an honest conversation, it will not be easy at first, but its a good place to start. Then with time, you can openly talk about the challenges. All the best.

  Published  18th Aug 2018 at 9:56 am

Thanks for the response.

Its been a hard journey at the same time painful to arrange such a meeting. Everytime I bring topics about me (hurtful) she snaps to other less important things to me. I think she's avoiding this conversation as much as she could.

I'm back to square 1. Alone and weirdly attracted to loneliness

  Published