Bonga

I'm overwhelmed at the thought of communicating and talking with the people in my life. I often watch my phone ring off the hook as I ignore call after call and its simply because I don't feel like engaging with anyone. I'm really struggling with this behaviour and even my friends are concerned. I want to get better but I do t even know why I do this in the first place.

  Published  19th Feb 2021 at 4:17 pm

The first thing to get to be comfortable with talking to people is saying "hi". Everyone you meet regularly in shops, neighbours , mama mboga...say hi to them as you move. Then after a month or few weeks ask them how they are...just have small conversation then you can build from there

  Published  21st Feb 2021 at 9:35 am

Ask yourself if this withdrawal from people is something new and if it is accompanied by feelings, such as hopelessness, fatigue, loneliness, changes in sleep and/or eating habits, reduced sense of self-worth, if present you might want to pursue the possibility that you are depressed

If that's not the case , then it just might be that you're introverted or neurotic in personality and thats normal, stop worrying about connecting with people, work towards finding things to engage in that make you comfortable with your personality

  Published  21st Feb 2021 at 12:07 pm

Hello! I hear you. You're overwhelmed at the thought of communicating with people. How does the thought of talking to others make you feel? How do you deal with these feelings? What do you tell yourself when this happens? You're struggling with this behaviour and even your friends are concerned. It must be hard for you and your feelings are valid.

Let me affirm you for sharing. That you chose to reach out on this platform shows you were able to actually talk about your struggles in such an open manner. You are stronger than you may think.

Is it possible to pinpoint where this fear came from? You may have been bullied, verbally abused, belittled or made to feel insignificant, like nobody cares about what you say. You may have been ignored and this somehow caused you to withdraw within yourself.

You matter and you are valuable. The thing that you need to understand is that our thoughts dictate our feelings which lead to our behaviour. You may have been exposed to negative talk by others close to you and by you internalizing these false beliefs, they became your reality. You probably avoid talking because you're simply trying to protect yourself from all the pain and hurt you may have experienced in the past.

Start by changing your thoughts. What really matters are the things you believe and say about yourself. Change any negative self talk to positive and observe how this makes you feel. Even when others say negative things about you in an effort to belittle you, try not to accept that as the truth. Learn to live yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve all the joy and happiness and that only starts with you.

All the best!

  Published  21st Feb 2021 at 8:55 pm