I met this guy in 2011 and he was the one who broke my virginity. 2012 I got a baby with him. By then I guess we did not know each other very well. But I trusted him to some extent. I believed that he would keep the promises that we had made before I got pregnant only to find out they were just empty promises. Before I gave birth he said that he'd be there to see our child but shock on me. I gave birth and he never showed up after days of waiting. That hurt so much since he had already promised and when I told him about it its like he wasn't bothered. Up to this day I still feel the pain. After I gave birth our relationship became a nightmare since he still stuck around but no child support whatsoever for 4 good years. He started having other partners and in the process he infected me with STIs. The effects of the STIs were so humiliating because before I found out he had infected me I used to smell a lot and people avoided me and started rumours. I did not know forgiving him several times would make look so desparate.I regret not cutting him out of my life the day he left me alone to deal with my pregnancy. After 2years since I gave birth I found out that he got another child. So I decided to move on. But the pain of seeing him happily move on with the other girl makes me feel so depressed since that should have been me. I keep remembering all the pain he caused and I do not know how to move on from that. In the middle of all that my dad got cancer on 2018 and when I told him he did not bother showing any support so when my dad died I never told him anything. So currently I am dealing with a heart break and the loss of my dad.I never mourned his death because I was already in so much pain. I think I fell into depression or I am falling into it. Please assist