A life that is not moving forward. Lost my job during covid pandemic, everything went on a downhill from there. There are days of Hope and Joy, then there are days of darkness and sadness..

Managed to start an online job hustle but life is nil by mouth. I would go 72hrs of no food, lack of appetite. I look at myself on the mirror and try to convince the person staring back that all will be well. I cheer myself for the day and within minutes it's like back to factory settings..The problems, expenses hovering around like voices in the dark.

I try take a walk to just get brief sunlight, maybe I will feel better. I want to survive but at times the zeel is gone.

I try take a nap just to reenergize but I no longer can sleep.. Bad sad dreams hit me and am back awake with tears.. I try to write down the few things I have managed to accomplish even if it's one, just to remind myself to go on.

I managed to make some money, but then the electricity is beeping at 2units, the tap is suddenly broken. The fridge is nolonger cooling, the internet has been disconnected, I fall sick and am back in another cycle of pain..Just when I see some light at the end of the tunnel..it seems away.

I try look positive and happy around people but deep inside am slowly dying. Like a candle that's about to burn out. I pray n hope for another day maybe it will be better. Is God hearing me,,,As I try to get back to my feet, I remember I have to now do data bundles to just make an effort.. will it be data purchase or refill the meko gas. Will it be buy food or buy KPLC tokens.

I now know who are close to me from just my current situation because trust me, if you haven't gone through some storm the friends you call friends wount be available.

I AM AFRAID I DONT HAVE A PROJECT TITLE

I heard about you guys on the radio awhile back, I guess I've just been debating on whether to reach out and get assistance or not. I mean does it even matter. Ain't we all f***Ed up in the end? Hii life haijanifavour maybe favor huwa kuamka daily kuteseka sijui though 😂 nilimaliza highschool 2019 kaa nimeanza job as a casual labourer in some factory, Niko 23 lakini nimeshahema kaa msee wa 43💔 I did join campus though and God knows I'm thankful juu I'm almost finishing up. Nilijoin kazi na hopes za somehow building something of a decent career but my boss, who's a relative never took me seriously. I busted my ass year after year but she never sees the effort. I even sacrificed everything family for this job, I really wanted this to work. Sai Niko on life's edge, in a time like this next year I'll be out of campus with nothing to show for it isipokuwa degree coz at the time I was supposed to be doing things related to what I was studying, niliidevote yote kwa kazi yenye I can't see. I should've built a career by now. I still go to work but skuizi it's just depressing. I moved out of my parents' early this year but life's gotten hard ever since. Saa zingine I consider going back but pride. Other times I feel like ending it but nakosa courage, I ration that maybe death is the test, maybe the next life is better, you just gotta have the courage to die first. I never saw my life go the way it did, and the future don't seem that bright either. I'm angry 24/7, the people I idolized, eventually let me down, I see their mistakes and yet they have the nerve to pass judgement over me. Wish I was a ghost

I met a man, he proposed marriage and I said yes. We never set the date but he moved into my house and the wedding never happened. 7 years of cohabiting later, I have become a woman I cannot recognize. I have been diagnosed with depression and even resigned from a PnP job. My self esteem is in the gutters and I am as broke as they come.

Last month, this man asked me to leave his house. We have two kids and he demanded I leave them behind. I left but came back after two weeks. I tell myself I came back for the children but I am not sure.Maybe I was afraid of starting again from scratch. Life is a little hell for me, the emotional stress has become physical stress.

He blackmails me with the kids, claims I can't get custody because I have no job and due to my mental health challenges.

I am stuck between;

1. Leaving him and leaving the kids with him even at the risk of never seeing them again or fight through the courts to gain parental rights ( no certainties here though)

2. Staying in a relationship that kills me slowly every day for the sake of my children.

Which option would you choose?

I am 35

Nothing seems to work and I am almost giving up.

I am in my early thirties and I just moved to a rural town two months ago after life became hard in Nairobi since I haven't gotten a job since graduating in 2016. I have been surviving through online hustle but I have had enough of it; I barely even have the strength to open my laptop and look for work.

Things got even worse because I lost my grandma exactly five days after moving to the remote town. Having been the one who brought me up my grandma was my everything. Now that she is gone, I have no home to go to when it feels overwhelming in this new town. I'm also kind of an introvert and therefore have no friends. Lately, I feel like I'm alone in this world and it's getting lonelier by the day.

I had created a lovely relationship with my next-door neighbor but we had a big fallout yesterday. She is a lovely lady with a big heart and I really connected with her especially because she came through for me on those days I was mourning my grandma. I always feel alive when around her and everything including the sex is amazing. However, I have two major issues with her. One she is a single mom and has not yet gotten over his baby who can call out of the blue when we are good with her and she will run to him. Second, all her friends are male and she is extra comfortable with them to the extent of undressing before them yet she claims she is not intimate with them. I'm really torn because I'm beginning to really love her and can't keep her off my mind even when we are fighting. Any tips or advice on how to handle the situation will be appreciated. Cheers!