Bonga

Maybe we are all dead people walking thinking we are alive

Skin n bone made for our atonement

Maybe we should pray till we bleed for safe passage

Sometimes I wish I crazy then maybe I'd have a better understanding of this thing called life

A lake of burning sulphur they said

Awaits those who defy the white man's god

I'm at a really low point right now. I graduated late last year but I'm yet to find a "real job". I do some stuff online and that's what my family has been relying on. Because of family drama and the pandemic I'm currently up country and it's been hard applying for jobs, taking courses, doing my online work and still having household duties all day long. I don't feel ready for the professional world despite so much pressure being put on me and on the other hand, there are very few openings that mostly want people with experience people rather than those like me who are seeking entry level positions. I've been lucky to have gone to a good uni but because of so many issues at home, it wasn't easy. I was out of school for a while because of financial issues but I did my best and passed. I'd like to find a place to settle so I can focus on moving my life forward but I'm stuck up country and feeling frustrated and let down by my parents (my dad abandoned me even before I was born even though he had a very good job, and my mother quit her job right before I started uni without looking for another one and before I had an income that could support us) and the systems in this country.

Omg I can't stand my parents, I'm the only child, they keep arguing all the time my dad is a drunkard my mom idk why she's still holding on to this yet it's dead.

I just wanna run away but idk where.

I result to drinking the pain away and being in the company of other people

I just hate coming back home it makes me sick

No job at the moment mom supports everything in the household but she's ride or die for the wrong man honestly.

He has no respect for her at all

Calls her name's when he's drunk

Lost his job years ago, makes no effort to even find one

This shit got me traumatized since I was a kid I couldn't even keep a relationship going.

I even plan on not having kids coz what kind of person brings kids into this world just to torture them mentally.

Not everyone's meant to be a parent.

I just feel bad for us who haven't healed from childhood trauma and have to learn how to heal ourselves from something our parents chose to do, which is bring us into this world unprepared to love

its strange i hate him ...i dont know why maybe its because he's a jerk

How are guys dating in this time of Covid? How are you spending time together? What activities are you doing? How are you coping?

the pain hurts but i have to face it and accept it , its not so easy ..it will be a while before i get my shine back and i hate that i have to go through it once more another battle i never for

seated in a perfect storm of my own making ,I am not okay , i am not eating ,i am not sleeping well

i will eat , i will sleep and i will find joy in my life again

then i will be finally clean

if you are in crisis hold out please you will come out stronger

if anyone knows a therapist that does free sessions please link me up ...i really need help