Bonga

Hello. Can I get new friend here?

I am currently in a relationship with a guy I truly loved and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with..I moved in with him we introduced each other to our families but things started changing...I didn't get the chance to finish my university so I always looked for a job that will sustain me but he hates it when I say I want to look for a job...he criticizes my last job because I worked at a restaurant as a steward I wasn't proud of it but at least I learned so many things from that job...he said he will take care of me and he did start a business that we both ran together...but things started changing he would get angry at me accuse me of smiling at customers and so many things...I decided to leave the business and let him take care of it while I stay at home but the business started failing...he would come at home with a good mood but after a few days he would get moody...I used to suffer from depression before but I was able to handle it and control but lately its like its coming back and its getting worse by the day...I try talking to him about it but he tells me I need to stop being negative coz it will affect him too...I am not allowed to talk about our business since its a negative thing to him that's why he decided to close it...right now we don't have any source of income and bills are piling up and he still doesn't want to talk about it he says that I make things worse coz of my negativity...I try speaking to him especially when I feel stressed but he tells me that I shouldn't stress because nothing will change if I continue stressing I should just live life and I shouldn't talk about it coz it will affect him

I try to tell myself its coz he is stressed but I go through so much all by myself I get lonely..I get panic attacks...anxieties that are over the roof and I don't know what to do

I also don't know where to start...I cry every single day and he just ignores me when I cry until I stop crying...I never thought I would ever cry this much I was always that girl who never cried in front of anyone I was strong and I would face anything but not anymore

Is it really possible to date and not spend money? A lot of ladies keep asking for fare, salon money or just have to find a reason to get money from guys. Surely, is spending on a lady a requirement for dating??

I might soon be the only bachelor in my circle of family and friends. My peers are either engaged, married or married with at least two kids. It's tough to hang out anymore when they are all out on family duty. Like they all have something going on.

I've been trying to start new friendships and relationships but it gets tougher as the years go by. I'm actually at a very lonely place right now ☹️

maybe i'm too picky , is it part of the reason why at times i feel unhappy then again is it fair to myself when i have nothing that i won't cherish.value hold dear and most importantly the other person don't they deserve someone who will look ar them and say that's my man

hehehe if only the future could talk

People fuck me over and over, I no longer like people.

What do you do when you realize you are getting old and you've not achieved any of your goals?

We were involved in a road accident yesterday. We all survived without any serious injuries despite the car being written. However the whole scene is replaying in the head non stop given I was in the front seat and I witnessed everything. Please help me deal with these because I am not sure if I will shake it off in a few days or it will get worse.

I cried myself to sleep last night, after a panic attack then punished myself

Today I go back to looking okay