Bonga

I find it hard expressing myself how can I deal with that.

I need some explaining...

If God created everything, that means He created the good, the bad and the evil. Why would God create the bad and the evil?

Hi anyone I'm feeling stuck about this guy.We were friends in college n had a lot in common and we kissed once after college he reached out to me saying he felt we cld be something more but he has family issues and I don't want to push him .I like him a lot what shld I do?

Im out of a break up and I feel bad mostly and I'm in a negative space. What do you do to stop feeling negative emotions?

I grew up in a family where I have felt hated and unappreciated. Growing up my parents were very harsh to the extent that even when I was sick I was not supposed to mention. Therefore I would only get attended to when I was extremely sick. Yet the other siblings were cared for and I attended to all of them cause I am the first born and yeah I was "big" and they were the kids. I was even scared of telling my mum what I went through in her own house. My step brothers would visit quite often and would rape me.

Hell broke loose when I got pregnant after highschool. I got very sick during the first trimester and was admitted in hospital. Mum and Dad came to check on me and they were told that I was pregnant. During discharge and at the hospital gate I was told that I had brought shame and embarrassed my parents. The living conditions were not good, I did heavy jobs at home. Household work was manageable but attending to the zero grazed cattle was hard. At some point I remember my kid sister- my follower discussing me with my mother over the kitchen how I had wasted all the money to high school and ended up pregnant. Everyone in the family quietly talked behind my back of how useless I had become. And one evening after heavy work I felt so tired, and indeed useless. I took poison and locked myself was just about to ingest it. My dad was shouting and banging the door asking me to go ahead cause no one will care if I am dead after all I am a nobody and they had many other kids besides me. In the end I didn't but I wish I did. My mum had to shout at me and make me repeat after her that I am to be seen and not to be heard. In the end I gave birth and she named my son after her mother cause you know of the obvious.... I was lucky to get admission to the university, which mum ensured that I joined. For this I am forever grateful. But it came with a condition, I was not seen as fit enough to bring up my son and so I was dictated even on how to handle him. I finished degree studies and was employed immediately. I was summoned at home and it was spelled out that the care of my siblings was on me. After all I have been educated and paid for fees till university, and that if I ever tried anything I would see fire. Since my son was with my parents I seized this opportunity to bring him along with me so that I could stay with him. This brought more division between my parents and siblings and I. They were not happy me taking my son away. Five years later I lost my job. I thought I had a family to lean on and when I opened up, I was insulted and discriminated. Everyone seemed happy that I had lost my job. My siblings would call and insult me that now I had nothing to hold onto and would die and leave my kids to them.

I remember there is this time that my mother was sick and Dad made it my responsibility to take care of her. My dad and my mum were both employed as teachers. I was out of job and with no money, I had to take a loan to pay for my mother's medical fee,. Nobody cared that I had fees to pay or a family of my own to take care of. It didn't take long, I got another job again, my parents are not living in a decent house and I wanted to build for the them a house, but instead I was insulted and told that I have no experience in construction and that there is no way I could bring people to build the house for them. Since my dad is an alcoholic, giving him money was not an option. I have a deep resentment towards my parents and siblings. I feel not wanted. I feel like they are okay without me. So I keep a distance. It bothers and gets me very angry. I just wish there was love atleast. Or maybe it's true that nothing good can come out of me after all ?

Hello, 2019 has been hard for me. I realised I hate working where i work.i have a toxic boss who makes my life miserable. I have an even more toxic partner who I feel like I cant leave because of the children..we aren't married and dont live together..he sleeps over when he feels the need. We spent happy.I had a baby this year and I wasnt able to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months as I had hoped.milk dried out at 4 months.. I'm failing at everything. 

I am from substance abuse and i separated with my wife and kids. I got this job and now they are back. I was doing well for the first 5 months until we got a new supervisor whom i like so much because she is just a piece of work. The funny thing she keeps pushing me away from my job she clearly doesn't want me there

I suffered a serious mental illness that turned me from a severe introvert to a hyper extrovert. My friends like the new me but my family tends to have lots of problems with my speaking which leads to lots of arguments. How can I restore peace in my family?

I want to quit my job coz it's a slow and toxic environment but i also can't find a good job that suits me. I've stalled. It's also taking a toll on my life as i've become bored and sluggish especially getting to work early. I feel i'm very close to losing the job. I have some business ideas that i have started to do but my worry is that it they may not be sustainable yet. I could say i'm grateful i still have this job especially now when their are no jobs but its now its gotten tiring. I'm wasting myself doing the same thing every day. I'm frustrated

Anyone else experiencing emotional numbness like i do? How do you cope up with this? This sucks