Bonga

How do i forgive my boyfriend who cheated on me with his ex.. 

Its been a year now and i can never get it out of my mind.. Everytime he leaves the house i always think he's gone cheating again... 

I find myself hating him every now and then though he's been trying to make it up for me big time... 

Hello,

Is there a community/platform/outlet or an individual here, that I can share my struggles with depression with? At a more interpersonal level?. One where there's a face or voice on the other end. We can start via email. Mine is forthenewme18@gmail.com. Thank you.

A.

One of the reasons I think it may be time to end my existence is that sometimes being sick feels nice. There are times the blinding mental confusion, deflation, pain, cloudiness and anxiety that sometimes hits me makes me feel special. How pathetic is that? It’s like I don’t even want to get better. What’s the $&?*#?! point? 

How do i stop people from taking advantage of my good natured heart?

I honestly find it very hard to be unkind, rude or cruel. My shrink tells me i have to stop being nice and say NO more often to people when they request for my help. In a way i have to be selfish. I tried a few times to say No to people but i felt very guilty later on. Argh!

It feels so good helping out people even strangers but the thought that i'm being tricked or actually being tricked feels equally bad. My Ex kept telling me i should stop saying sorry or pardon everytime and somehow i think that's why she left me coz in her words she said "i was putting other people's needs above mine" :(

Argh! How do i get through this?? 

hi...some people might think i have a good life because i live alone,i have a very supportive man and i love him to death and i have a job. to some people i am their "couple goals"...but little do they  know what my life has been all about:i have ever slept hungry,had no power at home for years,no proper clothes to wear,even been left with my sibling when i was 12 and he was only 5 months with nothing by ourselves at home (mum was fighting for her life,dad went to drink for 2 days, house help left). i lost my mother last year,my dad is a drunkard who almost died too after going silent on me for over 3 months until i took the initiative to visit him at the village only to find out that he has remarried, a chronic drinker and  the new woman expecting a baby. i have no grudges whatsoever but i am so angry at my dad for not telling me and i also feel like my mother's memory was not respected. he is the only parent and helper i have but sometimes i feel like i am alone in this world. asking help from relatuves who promised to be by your side while my mum was layed out cold in a casket: they are either not in  a position to help or broke. i am raising my sibling who is 14 now. i was supposed to go to college but since my mum was in need of medical attention,i gave up school so i got a job that only pays money enough for survival; i can"t go to school. i feel like i'm trapped and my future is based on one thing: SURVIVAL. I really just wish i could work things out and be able to go to school but now that my brother will be joining high school soon,i have no choice but  to get him through school. about my dad,i honestly do not know how it will go but i have never been so disappointed and angry at the same time towads him. i just pray to  God to keep me sane and grounded. i find myself crying at night coz honestly i do not think i have experienced peace of mind. 

Hi there,I could use some good friends.

I am a single mum to an 11 year old boy.He has been asking who his father is and telling him that he doesnt have one doesnt work any more.His father knows of his existence but has never reached out.I dont know what to tell him so he doesnt feel rejected neither do i want to "kill" the man incase one day he reaches out.

I read through other peoples comments and have realised that I have to deal with me before its too late. Am 20, a first year student at a dream university doing a course I never had in mind. I dont even  remember the last time i went to class and dont feel like bringing it up with my parents. I dont want to mess this up. I lost a brother, never got over it ten years latter. I have an AMAZING and suppportive girlfriend with the sizzling body of a model. That kind of girl when youu see you cant believe she is yours. I was with her in highschool and we started dating afterwards...its been 5 months know...met her once though...this weekend...I think II love her too much  that it makes me want to run away...i know its wierd but am just bieng honest...This world aint exactly what my heart expected either...you cant be wha you want to be...nothing is fair...the shrink you go to is kinda insignificant...my parents travel alot and am living with an aunt that pisses me off...i wish she knew...ooh...i forgot to mention...i have a feeling my girl friend is a lesbian...sooooo i dont know how this will work out...i believe in God...its just that i feel like I rust him less...I have HBP at my age sooooo.....i dont get why??...i hope i die before i get a job...its kinda been my dream since i was a kid...i hope i will go somewhere better...somewhere i can restart...the reason being that after everything I still dont feel like I have a reason to Live yet... I dont want that decission to be made by an employer or a parent...the only thing am scared off is no one will come to my funeral as a person who really knew me...someone who understood...someone who wont cry because everyone else is...or has to. 

discontined from campus and my father knows i'm graduating this year i think this are my last words

I’m scared about everything. I’m scared about going to work, staying alone at home, hanging out with friends, visiting with my family, not visiting with my family, getting things I want done, not getting things done. I know enough to know what to tell myself. Pep talks, stress coping strategies, trying to reframe things, changing my thought contents etc. My goodness I’m even scared of accepting friendship requests on Facebook. I have over 200 requests sitting there making me sweat. But I’ve been fighting this for over 20 years. I’m scared I’ll never change. I’ll never be self confident. I look at people stepping out in confidence either in chatting or in work places or on social media and I’m seriously baffled. I wish to God I could slip into someone’s mind when they’re marketing themselves and believing in themselves and being confident. I want to see that. I want to get that and have some of that. Because of how scared I am of everything, I am frequently boring to people in the long term. I can’t sustain a relationship longer than a couple of months. I miss opportunities at work coz I second and fifth guess myself for too long. I’m too scared to tell any of my friends or family how scared I am because it’ll just sound like I’m whining. 

And I’m even too scared to go for therapy. 

I don’t like myself. I’ve tried changing my self talk and focus on what’s good in my life and focus on what’s good about me. Objectively I know I have friends and family who like some things about me but I’m terrified they’ll wake up and realize I’ve been trash all this time. And when people drift away from me a part of me feels relieved for them. Like they’ve dodged a fatally boring and ultimately useless-to-their-lives bullet. I’ve been to therapy before. It was all very unhelpful.