Bonga

hello, i have been trying to gather the confidence to write more.i just wrote i need help the first time. where to start lol...ive gone through this over and over in my head.im glad there is an out let like this first of all. probably my problems are going to be jumbled all up im sorry..right now im thinking maybe i should write tomorrow but i feel i cant procrastinate .im an orphan,grown up around many people...having to move all the time.that came with sexual abuse and trying to heal from that has not been easy.i remember but sometimes i dont remember where i am or what year,and the worst one day i couldnt remember my name. i have lost alot,tried suicide more times than i admit,i dont sleep,i cant keep food down,never leave the house and im alone.

My fiancé has been cheating on me with another man. He was initially bi-sexual and our conversations before we started dating, he committed that that was a phase that was behind him. I have seen conversations with him and the guy and I feel he is very invested in being gay. I don’t know what to do

he has not been loving, the dishonesty and disrespect is just too painful

I have a mysterious illness. My body is in a lot of pain. I am tired of trying to find medical help. I have done rounds in hospitals trying to find answers for months but no doctor can find the cause of pain. This illness has ruined my career because I make all plans around it. My boyfriend is sticking by me but I am tired of putting him through my pains everyday. I just want to end it all and maybe I will find rest from body pains. I never signed up for this life.

If someone is seeing this help me. I'm finding it hard in the dating world I know I'm still young 23 is not so bad but I have been talking to this guy lately , we knew each other from campus he asked me out a few times but one day I just decided I wasn't interested and I called it quits with him he used to say he's in love with me but despite how much I've heard that men are sexual by nature I felt like he wanted me just for sex , one night as we went back home I kissed him and he started touching me in suggestive ways I got so angry and I left him then and there . Two years later he contacted me and this year we've been talking for a few months of which he's still been sexual but he says he loves me and wants a future with me I have no experience in dating but I always thought a man would want me first and love me and sex would come after. I have told him I don't want sex first but he keeps saying he's really in dry spell. I want to meet him first get to know him and decide from there but he keeps saying it's too soon and asks why I'm in such a hurry .It's really confusing what he really wants from me but yet when I tell him we should break up he refuses saying I should give him time .He professes love and says he wants me but he's so slow in showing his intentions and I wonder how hard it is to love a woman and not want to meet her as soon as possible.I still like him but I don't trust him

Looking for a family.. brother, sister or mentor type person, I’ve never had a family

Hello I’m a 40 year old man. Growing up I’ve never really had a family or experienced what a real family is like. I was brought up by a single mum. I have met my biological dad, but even in his 60s, he wants space and rebuffs any attempt at me trying to make a connection. I let him be, he already expressed that I was an unwanted child.

My sister, from another father, over 10 years age difference, is abroad and has distanced herself from everyone. I don't blame her, if she feels that no one was there for her growing up. I feel pretty much the same. I won't say much about my mum, other than we aren't close. Been in boarding school from lower primary, all the way and left home a year after high school. I don't know if the love and affection was ever there, but in her defence, I know life was pretty hard on her too. Can't be easy bringing up two kids on her own. I respect her. We give each other their own space, as long as we know each other is ok.

Growing up I’ve faced everything alone, from puberty to adult hood. I’ve made every mistake in the book and have seen many of the darkest corners the earth has to offer. I recently finally came to place where I’m somewhat at peace, in life. Thing are starting to finally look up for me (mentally. financially at least I can support myself) and I’ve realized I’m all alone. Main reason I don’t have friends is because I’ve moved a lot and it hard to keep in touch with people. I’m very socially awkward. What I’m looking for is anyone that I can build a bond with, long term people to call family. The two or three relationships that I was in are over 10 years ago. Thinking back they were mostly superficial as I never opened up, they didn't amount to much, no children thank God.

I know this a long shot but hey, I thought it be worth a try.

Iam unindependent,every good job i get i seem to find errs and quit(despite good pay too) loved ones advice me that thereare no jobs and that i should not quit.I never listen.I react drastically,short eyed.Now iam weighed down and over thinking

I am on a lonely road, I'm loosing weight at an alarming rate due to stress. I just need one friend.

Hey..

I am feeling suicidal,tired,uninspired , unloved and worthless

Have never had a real relationship despite being told I'm beautiful

...most of them just use me and leave me scarred..

My financial situation has taken a shift in the wrong direction and I have no one to ask for help...so I'm Even considering prostitution..

I missed a lot of chances to fulfil my dreams and I'm afraid I may never get more

My past mistakes haunt and terrorize me..I have nightmares everyday....even if a sleep in the daytime

Life just seems worthless

Sometimes when I sleep I don't care if I wake up or not....

If anyone has ever felt like this please tell me how you got through this type of depressing so I can dig my way out as well

I have a heavy heart.I am feeling very sad for no apparent reason.I feel like crying and I just can't.I feel restless and like I am not satisfied

I'm so stressed. This is my second time contemplating suicide but there's something holding me back. I don't know what to do anymore