I suffered a serious mental illness that turned me from a severe introvert to a hyper extrovert. My friends like the new me but my family tends to have lots of problems with my speaking which leads to lots of arguments. How can I restore peace in my family?
I want to quit my job coz it's a slow and toxic environment but i also can't find a good job that suits me. I've stalled. It's also taking a toll on my life as i've become bored and sluggish especially getting to work early. I feel i'm very close to losing the job. I have some business ideas that i have started to do but my worry is that it they may not be sustainable yet. I could say i'm grateful i still have this job especially now when their are no jobs but its now its gotten tiring. I'm wasting myself doing the same thing every day. I'm frustrated
Anyone else experiencing emotional numbness like i do? How do you cope up with this? This sucks
Today I feel 😔, I feel like I can't win at anything, I keep having hope for better things but I don't know if I'll ever have a situation where I can say oh man it feels good to be alive, it's funny how living is a nightmare and death is torture, congratulations whoever designed life because either way your fucked both alive and dead
Greetings. What Counselling Centres are available in Nairobi that are highly recommended.
In all honesty, I’m not even too sure how this works but I’ll do it all the same. So I’m 23 years old. I remember the first time I got to interact with depression or what honestly looks and feels like depression was in form 2. I think I was about 16 years old. But I never really gave it much thought though looking at it right now, the lack of getting out of bed and not eating for nearly 3 months.. that was quite something. After that period I decided to focus on school and we can say the storm did calm down. Fast forward to 2015 - 2016 when all hell broke loose and it’s been the same pretty much. So I joined campus and you know how when you’re a first year, it’s your first taste of freedom. Anyway, my friends would go out on Fridays and I would join them but I remember after that, it would be pure chaos at home. My dad being a pastor and mum being such a strong individual in the church ( plus I should add, they never went out) they always thought that by virtue of going out, I was going to sell my body to men and generally be a prostitute. Heck, I remember my mum name-calling me and them refusing to as much as give me transport money to go to school. On top of my problems at home, I was with a toxic boyfriend and all this took a toll on me. I honestly feel like 2016 traumatised me, coz that is what triggered my full on (again, let me call it) depression. I remember not eating for days on end, staying in bed the whole day and losing so much weight ( 68 all the way down to 56 kgs) I was also in constant fear and anxiety when I was at home. I begged my parents to allow me to move out coz that would mean, getting out of the toxic environment at home, leaving my then- toxic boyfriend who was a neighbour and leaving behind my friends who were conveniently available to go out and drink every time I felt sad and depressed, this was like everyday since I needed an escape from reality. They refused time and again until last year. My school work took a dent and it’s frustrating to know that if I took time to take care of my mental health, I would have graduated this year. Anyway, I got depressed and when I finally decided to start counselling, my mum would always discourage me saying that ‘the counsellor would only want my money or how it’s not going to help me’ Anyway, I finally moved out and my mental health really improved. I was happy. I thrived at school, I wasn’t near my ex and honestly, I wasn’t at home. And yes, there are times my mum would say hurtful things but I swept it all under the carpet and went to my place. I was at peace. Fast forward to October when my mum and I had such a heated argument, I think I was just done with sweeping things under the carpet. I decided not to come home for 3 weeks as I felt so unwanted and because of that, my dad forced me to come back home. I am currently suicidal, depressed, anxious ( I just had my very first panic attack last weekend but I went to the hospital) and I’m always afraid and sad. I keep on thinking of how I want to just end my life and end my pain. I have tried to commit suicide twice between October and now. Deep in my heart, I need to break this cycle. I have been thinking of moving in with my current boyfriend but something keeps me at home. I don’t know if this is honestly depression or some form of ptsd or idk what mental disorder but I know for a fact that I need help and I need it soon before things get out of had. I don’t know if parents can cause depression or can trigger it. I also don’t know how to go about it. If you can help me, I’m very much willing and ready because I am literally at the basement of rock bottom.