Bonga

I pyshpush people away. I am in a very lov relationship, the kind  iI always dreamed of. 

The pro is iI see its too good to be true and iI am purposely screwing it up before iI vetget hurt. 


I love her so much.. I am way in over my head.. I feel worthless of any good thing.. I feel like iI dontdon't deserve to be happy.is that normal? 

am I going crazy? Do we really ever achieve greatness and satisfaction of our achievemnts? why is it so hard to be happy?

Hi guys i really think youre taking people for a joke coz this professionl help you talk about is not real if you reply to someones story, reply if you want to help them please.Some guy posts his number but it never goes through and some of us really need help thats why we come to this site and personally i feel terrible .Its better that i commit suicide if noone out there is ready to help me.Thanks for nothing professionals.:[]

[


Im planning to build a house at the end of this year, tired of paying rent just like everyone else... I've bn married for 4yrs and at the back of my mind I don't think we will last and building a home and later divorcing seems a stretch to me. 

Should i hold my plans or go ahead? 


I feel like my issue is not very big... but then I don't want to be downplaying it so here goes

I see escorts and I'm afraid it might get out of hand. I see them like once a month, very rarely twice and this started in November of last year. Before I got into it, I had been thinking about it for probably a year. I'm afraid of becoming a sex addict. I don't mind it where it is right now... but I just feel and know that it can get out of hand... as in I'm always waiting for end month to go see one. Sometimes the urge is so strong that I get urges to borrow money. I don't know if it's pride or will power but it's never gotten to the point... 

Now for the realissue, I feel like I see escorts for a reason, and that reason is a form of 'emptiness'. I broke up with my ex around this time last year, though the relationship technically ended a while before. It was painful. I think I cried everyday for a month. And I feel like this emptiness is what I'm trying to fill. People always talk shit about how love is always around the corner but I don't know if I'm impatient but I just don't feel that. I've tried, and it's not that I'm that bad, I get told the opposite but I can't seem to hold down relationships anymore... or I basically self sabotage.

I noticed a pattern... if they exhibit any trait of my ex, whether good or bad, my mind seems to make me wanna run away. I don't hate my ex. A part of me feels like I still love her. So I don't really understand this... I feel safer in the hands of a woman who doesn't know me, someone who I could easily run away from without feeling guilty or having to deal with them trying to get back to me...  It's like I want everything she gave me, but I don't want her in the equation...

So this ties back with earlier... I feel that void just getting bigger and bigger, and my need to be with escorts to be even greater... 

I just feel so damn weak... I don't really have great friends I can share this with... and that's not even all of it... but I guess one issue at a time... I'm not a fan of this life shit, in all honesty. 

Whats my passion? 

Stupid   question to ask here since its anonymous, but thats the question i've been asking myself for the better part of this year. 

I dont know what my passion is, i tend to fail at everything i do. You know people can suck at what they do but they have that one thing that balances things out. Some cook, some write, some sing etc and every darkness of that day disappears. Well i don't have that, i don't have a stress reliver. I don't have something to vent into. 

Hi i really thought you burry all tha dark things of your past never to return to that chapter but im still struggling .I had sex with my younger brother a few yrs ago n i stopped and we both  prayed together for forgiveness and never told anyone i then went to highschool and i masturbation came .ipve been doing it since then , sometimes i create habit tracker card and i spot for like a month then it just comes backs i dont know if its because im sexually active or due to what i did in the past but its taking atoll on my life . i think i need professional help .Please reach out and help me deal with this.

Feeling alone and frustrated. Yet I'm surrounded by so many people!!