Bonga

Am stuck. I cry alone, I scream alone. I just feel stuck.

I have a job, am outgoing, i thank God for what I have honestly, I really do. Am alone. I've always been with my thoughts and feelings, I rarely open up, supposedly am 'full of myself' .

Everyone thinks am happy and successful and doing well in, am soo alone. If I keep at this I will lose my job, it's the one thing that makes me feel val8dayer

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 3:39 am

I feel you, I'm here if you need someone to vent to. ^HG

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 6:28 am

Thank you. Sometimes I just want to switch off and ignore everything and everyone.

I don't think I can tell any of my friends or family what I feel or what am going through. Am afraid that all this will swallow me up .....

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 11:51 am

I will encourage you to see a professional or a someone who you can trust with your thoughts. I encourage you to speak our... Don't keep welling stuff up, you might not be able to contain the outburst.

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 1:37 pm

You can install (Wickr Me) a private messenger and reach me on HG33 if you need to.

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 1:41 pm

Hello! I hear you. You seem to be struggling with loneliness. How long have you felt like this? From your writing, I can pick feelings of anger, hopelessness and even disappointment. All these feelings are valid and it's okay to feel this way. You describe yourself as outgoing but you rarely open up and this leads others to think you are full of yourself. How is that for you? Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? How do you feel when alone with your thoughts? The word 'alone' appears 4 times in 3 sentences meaning this is something that troubles you a lot. everyone thinks you are happy and successful but you are so alone. How does that make you feel? Do you not consider yourself successful because you are lonely? How important are other people's opinion about you? Let me affirm you for reaching out.

Loneliness is a subjective feeling of lack of companionship. We all experience it from time to time and lasts for a short while but for some, it's a feeling that lasts for long periods of time in which case it is described as chronic loneliness. This kind of loneliness can lead to a number of mental health problems and increase the risk of certain health conditions. There are two types of loneliness: emotional in which you miss the company of one particular person, and social loneliness in which one lacks a wider social network such as, a group of friends. Which one applies to you? How easy is it for you to make new friends? How does your loneliness affect the job that you value so much? Try and reflect on the factors that may have led to you feeling this lonely. These matters need to be dealt with and may require therapy.

The distress associated with loneliness can be significant and may lead to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Let me encourage you to try and take up healthy activities that can help you interact with others. Pursuing a new hobby, taking up a sporting activities, volunteering in the community, or attending social events can help reduce distress by increasing one’s opportunities to form friendships. Be prepared to put time into these friendships. Engaging and meaningful activities can also help a person cope with loneliness by making time spent alone more meaningful. You deserve all the happiness that's available for you out there.

  Published  14th Oct 2020 at 2:13 pm

I have a similar problem actually for me I am the kind that is so absorbed work just to try and avoid those thoughts of neglect family disappointment and negative criticisms from the relatives having grown up with my grandmother who rarely accepted me and so often blamed me for the failures of my dad.

i worked hard to get myself away from this the one day after another it has grown and I don't know if I anymore have close friends.

am very poor with relationships and this hurts me.

  Published  17th Oct 2020 at 12:20 am

Hello! I hear you. Trying to get lost at work in order to stifle the hurt and the pain due to the neglect, negative criticism and blame brought on by close members of your family. I can't imagine how it all must feel for you. You say you worked hard to get away from it all but it has developed into something bigger. What does that mean for you? You also struggle with relationships and this hurts you. It seems that there is an unresolved problem that needs to be dealt with as this is a direct cause in how you feel and the way you handle other relationships. Having been hurt by those closest to you, you may be trying to protect yourself from others because you can't trust them.

I'd encourage you to see a therapist as this will help you process and deal with the pain you have and enable you to form healthy and lasting relationships with other people.

  Published  18th Oct 2020 at 10:44 pm
Inuka Wellness ExpertInuka Wellness Kenya
Good morning and how are you doing, really? Thank you for opening up about your feelings and how people think of you generally. Feelings of loneliness can be as a result of many things,i wonder if how you feel is as a result of having to"fake" it as you have said, because when you say you are out going, what does that mean for you? When did this start? Apart from your job,if you look deeply, what else keeps you going? The thoughts you are talking about, what are they all about? Okay there must be a lot of things that you would want to share with someone but you don't know how or where to start,we as inuka are willing to listen,all you have to do is go to play store, download app inuka wellness, do a well being test and book yourself a session,all this for free, use voucher code Bonga 2020,we have experts who are willing to walk with you anytime, anywhere.
In the meantime, find something interesting to do when not working (hobby) and try to think happy thoughts.
Thanks
  Published