Bonga

hi...some people might think i have a good life because i live alone,i have a very supportive man and i love him to death and i have a job. to some people i am their "couple goals"...but little do they  know what my life has been all about:i have ever slept hungry,had no power at home for years,no proper clothes to wear,even been left with my sibling when i was 12 and he was only 5 months with nothing by ourselves at home (mum was fighting for her life,dad went to drink for 2 days, house help left). i lost my mother last year,my dad is a drunkard who almost died too after going silent on me for over 3 months until i took the initiative to visit him at the village only to find out that he has remarried, a chronic drinker and  the new woman expecting a baby. i have no grudges whatsoever but i am so angry at my dad for not telling me and i also feel like my mother's memory was not respected. he is the only parent and helper i have but sometimes i feel like i am alone in this world. asking help from relatuves who promised to be by your side while my mum was layed out cold in a casket: they are either not in  a position to help or broke. i am raising my sibling who is 14 now. i was supposed to go to college but since my mum was in need of medical attention,i gave up school so i got a job that only pays money enough for survival; i can"t go to school. i feel like i'm trapped and my future is based on one thing: SURVIVAL. I really just wish i could work things out and be able to go to school but now that my brother will be joining high school soon,i have no choice but  to get him through school. about my dad,i honestly do not know how it will go but i have never been so disappointed and angry at the same time towads him. i just pray to  God to keep me sane and grounded. i find myself crying at night coz honestly i do not think i have experienced peace of mind. 

  Published  26th Sep 2018 at 1:12 pm

Hi, your story slightly resonates with me. What I can say is school is tertiary school is available at any-time. What you are doing for your brother is selfless and he will come to appreciate your sacrifices and love you for this. At your job, try to excel to your best ability, there are so many success stories in Kenya of people who have made it and never went to University. They hustled and became the best in their field or the innovators in their field. Read more on what gives you passion, not having a degree doesn't mean you can't read on what you love. Get a mentor in your field. Keep the fire burning and you will feel better about this area. 

For your dad, you can’t choose family unfortunately and we all have to deal with some measure of CRAP (excuse my French) from our parents as we get older and our eyes are more open to the things they are doing or have done in the past. 

You can’t correct what he has done to the memory of you mum, he probably drinks more because he misses her to a degree and has never dealt with their relationship to this day. He knows he has made mistakes and doesn’t want to think about it, and does so by trying to dull
his senses. 

Fake relatives too are a worldwide phenomenon. Ignore them and don’t expect anything from them. Those who choose to help great, but if not don’t be pissed off about it. Remember they have their own issues to deal with. 

Be happy for what God has given you thus far, you’re alive, have a job and a boyfriend. Thank Him every night for this even if you cry as you pray, He knows what you’re going through and will take you through it. PS: I know even faith can falter when things seem horrible but try.    

  Published  26th Sep 2018 at 2:35 pm

Hi..Goodevening.I can imagine what you are going through and it seems like you have been through some tough times.However, from your story,it seems that despite all the challenges you have been able to do some positive things eg pay school fees for your brother and support your mum through her illness.I want to affirm you for that.Your sacrifice is not in vain.As you have supported your brother, you have helped him to get an education which will open doors for him to take care of himself.

All hope is not lost.Try to excel in whatever you are doing at the moment and at the right time, you will be able to study.

As for your dad,he has made his choice in life and although you may not approve of it, you cannot change the fact that he is your dad.Remember that your dad is living his life and you also have your life.It is normal to feel angry and disappointed at the choices  that he has made but I would encourage you to focus on your life and keep aiming to achieve more.Your story has demonstrated that you can do it so go for it.,  

Christabell

  Published  26th Sep 2018 at 6:00 pm

thanks so much,i needed this. Now i have the motivation to keep pushing on and remain positive about life and the future.

  Published  27th Sep 2018 at 6:43 am

You are so amazing! What you're doing for your brother, and for yourself. You are strong! I admire you alreaady. You are love. Keep hanging on, your love will be returned back to you. 

  Published  27th Sep 2018 at 5:00 pm

thanks so much be blessed <3

  Published  29th Sep 2018 at 7:10 am