Bonga

I gave birth 3 weeks ago to a baby girl but my husband wanted a boy..he made it clear when I got pregnant that we weren't ready for another one and if so it should be a boy.

He wasn't as present during the pregnancy,never attended a single clinic with me and detached intimately.

Just a few days before I delivered I found out that he might have slept with someone else.He denied it of course and this caused my B.P to spike and baby was born afew weeks early.

I'm trying to hold on for the kids-we have 2 other girls but emotionally he's very distant. He never wants to talk about feelings and if I send my concerns over text he ignores. I don't know what to do..I feel so lonely with a newborn and a husband who's not meeting my emotional needs. He's secretive,changes his password and keeps private communication with the woman I suspect he cheated with. I feel like crying all the time 😭

3 replies

pole..

You already know what to do. Unfortunately, tears will not change anything no matter how much you cry. Your marriage has already ended. If you can support yourself, there is no reason why you are still hoping things will change. You are even risking your life in the event you catch an incurable disease. If both of you RIP from HIV/AIDS, the kids you are staying put for in the marriage will end up losing both parents. The more you keep holding on to the possibility that rhings will change, the more you miss out on your starting you new chapter.

Also, in case you decide to leave, find a good lawyer to help you secure child support. In case you're on Facebook, see how Dr. Amakove Wala overcame the odds alone with 4 young kids, her story is very similar to yours with regard to your marital situation. You can also reach out to her in case you need more support. She may guide you to resources/counselling you need.

1. https://www.facebook.com/amakove.wala/posts/10157739866477951

2. https://www.facebook.com/amakove.wala/posts/10158403293812951

Thank you