Bonga

Hi,I lost my mum mid 2017 and by the time it reached 2018,my dad had another wife. Well I honestly don't care about that but what bothers me is that I found out about her from my aunt coz he went silent on me for no reason for almost 3 months. I still mourn my mum with pain and sorrow and I feel like her memory wasn't respected at  all by my dad. I feel like my father should have spoke to my small brother and I and just tell us his intentions. They now have a child,I don't hate the wife and kid but I honestly don't feel the need to have a relationship with them. I live in Nairobi they live in Siaya county. How would you advise me? 

  Published  14th Jan 2019 at 8:59 am

Am sorry about the loss of your mum. It's never easy to adjust to such . I however want to point you to the popular vows people take in church, especially the closing : "till death do us". Marriage arent eternal. The surviving spouse has a need and right to continue living. What I agree with you is the need for consultation before the new wife came in. 

In traditional African society, your youngest aunt would have been brought to replace your mother. It was a way of ensuring continuity of life.

Give it time. Find an avenue to talk to your Dad. Express your feelings but dont be judgmental. Your little stepbrother might just become a joy in your life. Plus, you can go about your work in Nairobi knowing there's someone taking care of your Dad back in Siaya.

My humble opinion.

  Published  24th Jan 2019 at 9:09 am