Bonga

I have a child and I stay with my parents. My baby daddy sends support but has never come physically at home neither talk to my parents on phone. I lied to my parents about his age +55 and I am in campus. Recently my mother ambushed me about baptism of my child. Personally I don't see the hurry but mum is overbearing. She didn't even ask whether I'd want the child to be baptized. She was just like "Tomorrow you have to go pick the baptisimal form." The baby daddy is like "no its too early." The past year I have been trying to please them both which took a toll on me. The baby baby is underweight I have constant headaches. How do I tell my mum no without causing a fracas ( if that is even possible.)

  Published  30th Jul 2020 at 2:16 pm

Hello! I hear you and your concerns and feelings for your child are valid. This is a situation that needs to be handled with great clarity so that you can be comfortable. You mention that you lied to your parents about your child's father's age. You can begin by coming clean about that. You also mention that your baby daddy thinks it's too early for baptism. He has never met your parents or even been to your home. Have a conversation with him about what his plans for you and your child are.Is marriage on the cards? If not, then you need to discuss how the child will be raised. I also feel that your mother may be ambushing you because you still live in her house with your child. As long as you're still under her roof, she may try to control how you raise your child. You need to try and gain some independence so that you can take back control. Lastly, your baby daddy needs to try and meet with your parents so that he can develop a relationship with them and also gain their support. Good luck!

  Published  30th Jul 2020 at 4:52 pm
Inuka Wellness ExpertInuka Wellness Kenya
Hello,  reading what you have shared,  there are 4 issues here: how your child should be raised,  your relationship with your baby daddy,  your relationship with your mum and your mental well-being.  They are all intertwined..  Maybe start by asking yourself what you want in regards to all 4, once you know what you want then you will have an easier time saying yes or no to things.  You will be able to have a clear stand on how you want your child to be raised and you can communicate it respectfully with your mum,  you will also know what you want from the relationship with your baby daddy and the direction it should take,  and if serious then your mum can meet him,  and also the both of you can come up with a plan on how to raise your child. As for your mental health,  making your life easier by avoiding lies and saying yes to things you aren't comfortable with should positively impact your wellness. 
We hope you are able to find balance to the different aspects in your life.
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