I was addicted sexually. I've been trying to live a pure life. I fell once last year. I was scared to open up, coz I had a pattern of repeating the same mistakes , guilt would eat me up every day. I pretended I was okay. But I finally opened up to my mentors but they seem angry with me and have given up on me. Even though they claim to still hold me , theyve given up. It's been hard to heal , forgive myself from breaking my purity vow. A part of me wants to give up completely in fighting and have all the sex. Mess my life. A part of me wants to go back to drinking and waste my life. I feel so heavy ...

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Hi not sure the level of addiction you're talking about but at the end of the day we're all humans. Things don't always go to plan. I sort of understand you. I never had the courage to approach a girl and after multiple rejections I just gave up. I hired a hooker and took my virginity. Up to today sex with a hooker is all I've known, and I hate myself for it. So you're not alone and your sins are definitely not worse than any of us