Bonga

Hey. Thanks for this platform. I guess for my problems are permanent but what to do. I am mid 20s and suffering from toxic family enmeshment. Haven't been able to form any healthy bonds/relationships with anyone cause I lie a lot, consciously/unconsciously.

Recently 2017 I met a guy from a different tribe and we hit if off but I couldn't be completely honest with him, my family sucks and most of the things I lie about is many at time about them.

They never accepted me or believed in any of my dreams and I guess that has caused many damages to my life, I am dealing with excessive feelings of guilt at the moment cause there's basically nothing to show for my life at the moment besides a 4 abortions and a broken relationship from a person I really loved and we could have become everything we wanted.

Sijachukua selfie and I am jobless depressed undergraduate at a moment when I am trying to process this information.

PS. I have separated from my boyfriend several times and after him digging my dirty past I feel like he can never love me the way he loved me before . should I get back and try to make this relationship work no matter the odds and how do I deal with all these excessive feelings of shame guilt and pain?

Sincerely a troubled soul

  Published  12th Aug 2019 at 4:01 am

Hello,

I don't think you should try to make the relationship work. I think you should work on yourself first, make peace with your past, accept the situation you are in and try to get better. Your family and past life should not define you. If you can, see a therapist. You're still young and depression and guilt can make you lose years before things better, if they will. You've chosen your dreams, work on them, every day. I don't think a relationship is good for you right now because the other person will not get the best of you. Wait until you're okay with yourself and your past. At this point, it'll be comfortable and easy to date. Good luck girl, this anonymous person is rooting for you.

  Published  12th Aug 2019 at 5:59 am

Hi there. Uuumh I knows it's hard to hear this, but everyday is a new day. We've all made mistakes in the past, it's human. What matters is that you recognize them, accept them and forgive yourself. Then work towards bettering yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself. One day at a time, choose to do what's right for you. One day at a time. Don't get into rshps before you figure yourself out because you'll only be complicating yours and another's life. Love yourself first. It will be okay.

  Published  12th Aug 2019 at 8:37 am