Bonga

How do i stop people from taking advantage of my good natured heart?

I honestly find it very hard to be unkind, rude or cruel. My shrink tells me i have to stop being nice and say NO more often to people when they request for my help. In a way i have to be selfish. I tried a few times to say No to people but i felt very guilty later on. Argh!

It feels so good helping out people even strangers but the thought that i'm being tricked or actually being tricked feels equally bad. My Ex kept telling me i should stop saying sorry or pardon everytime and somehow i think that's why she left me coz in her words she said "i was putting other people's needs above mine" :(

Argh! How do i get through this?? 

  Published  26th Sep 2018 at 4:57 pm

Thank you for reaching out on this forum.I am glad that you are aware that people tend to take advantage of your good natured heart and you feel that it is an area that you would want to address.A starting point would be to try and address the guilt feeling when you say NO to other people.Where is it coming from?Is it possible to please everyone all the time?I can imagine this can be very draining to you and at the end of it all you may end feeling very drained.Rememberyou have your life to live and the moment you realize that you may not be able to meet everyones need, then you will take charge of your life and things will begin to change.I wish you well.

Christabell

  Published  26th Sep 2018 at 5:42 pm

Be strong and look for a more matured person that will help you in the process

  Published  27th Sep 2018 at 7:51 am

Hi there,

I hear and resonate perfectly with your 'predicament'. That is because I am more or less the same. It's a personality issue. You are a 'healer'. You find yourself taking on other people's problems, sometimes to your own detriment. To you the world is 'you first - me second '. You feel a great need to fix, help a soul in need.. you get great satisfaction from helping others. Are you by any chance introverted? Google 'traits of an empath'. If you resonate with any, welcome home!! You are not alone. You are ok. Share your findings on here we compare notes. All the best.

A.O

  Published  27th Sep 2018 at 9:13 am

Keep doing good all the tym dont give up God will reward you abundantly,look for somebody who will support you in your mission,thats is a gift from God,hope you have heard me.

  Published  4th Oct 2018 at 9:32 pm