Bonga

I am 32, never been in a serious relationship. Im employed have a good side hustle. I just cant seem to find love or allow myself to be loved. I long to be in a relationship but i push all my love interests away. Its hard for me to believe i can be loved or worthy to be loved. I just cant understand why its soo fuckin hard to love myself or see my self how other people see me as a straight up good guy. I drink to feel better but my demons know how to swim. I know the processes of self help but my mind and the voices in my head. Fuck

3 replies

I feel you.... Struggling with your self is the hardest battle 

You know you will be fine but you don't seem to believe it your self

The monsters just torment you so much 

Fuck I can't even even give good advice reading this felt like you were talking about me 

People say I'm pretty but I don't think I'm 

Self love nilishindwa can't love 

Self love aint easy, accepting yours scars shortcomings and life, being perfect doesnt happen. And the worst is trying to please or thinking that pleasing another is somehow real. For me i try to drown the voices its a battle, daily! long tiring energy draining battle ?. Funny how a reassuring gesture from a friend, relative, lover is such a small thing to ask for yet so hard to get. Assumption is indeed root of fuckups

Hi, so you're post really spoke to me so am a 34 year old chic and i have struggled with the idea of finding love as well as self love for a very long time, and this has led me down very bad roads over the years, now what am about to say may sound very cliche but to find a good, healthy love you gotta love yourself first cause otherwise you find yourself caught up in very unhealthy relationships that drain you more and even push you further away from the self love you need or seek...Believe me i am speaking from experience, i know its hard and as someone rightly put it in one of the responses dealing with self is one of the hardest things in life especially when left alone with your thoughts but you gotta keep trying everyday there's a reason you are here and that you are you...For me my experience has been that i have periods where I am doing good and am able to do alot and achieve a lot and actually feel good about myself then i have extremely low periods where i feel like whats my purpose in this world and what holds me down in those times is just looking outside myself cause during those moments i can never seem to find anything good withi to hold onto so i focus on my family mostly i have an amazing family who are so supportive and love me a lot yet sadly despite this i often dont love myself and seek validation in very unhealthy relationships, i have done the drinking too etc anyways i don't quite know your back story as i said your post caught my eye and just thought i would share my thoughts and experience it just might encourage you somewhat...I wish you the very best in this journey and i hope you find some comfort in the fact that you are not alone in your struggle. Takecare