Bonga

How do I tell if I have social anxiety or it's fear of rejection? I feel I uncomfortable around people to an extent of trembling even among relatives.

  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 2:16 am

Hi, I had a similar problem once. I would avoid all and any circumstance that would require me to be social or meet new people. It got so bad that I realized all I had at that point in my life was my "WhatsApp friends" and my family. I literally had no one I could hung out with. Good thing is, I was joining campus and honestly it has helped me a great deal. I think it's just a matter of continuing to be uncomfortable and anxious again and again till you get used to it. For me I can almost say I'm an extrovert now. I suggest that you continue tossing yourself into social stuff again and again, more and more you'll get used to it.

  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 9:02 am
JOYCE KAMUNYAPsychologist Practicum Student
Hello, I am sorry about what you're going through. I would advise you to see a psychologist and have an assessment done so as to know the best course of action. All the best.
  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 9:38 am

hi, I've been and from what i learnt is to just keep doing what you like and everything else eventually takes care of its self. the people always have a way of finding their way to you, so don't worry...

  Published  6th Apr 2021 at 12:34 pm

The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. We’re anxious about the prospect of being cut off, demeaned, or isolated. We fear being alone. We dread change. Attention from others is a basic and essential human need. Attention in the form of recognition, understanding, and acceptance are essential for us to thrive both psychologically and physically. Often this desire for acceptance is matched by a fear of not receiving understanding and acceptance, thus justifying the creation of a strategy of hiding our true selves and creating a driving force that keeps us from being authentic.

A big part of our fear of rejection may be our fear of experiencing hurt and pain. Our aversion to unpleasant experiences prompts behaviors that don’t serve us. We withdraw from people rather than risk reaching out. We hold back from expressing our authentic feelings. We abandon others before they have a chance to reject us. It hurts to be rejected.

Signs that you fear rejection include being a people pleaser, unassertiveness and being inauthentic. Hinting, complaining, or giving back-handed compliments are just a few of the ways people with a fear of rejection avoid direct confrontation.

The defining feature of social anxiety disorder, is intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation. People with social anxiety disorder may worry about acting or appearing visibly anxious (e.g., blushing, stumbling over words), or being viewed as stupid, awkward, or boring. As a result, they often avoid social or performance situations, and when a situation cannot be avoided, they experience significant anxiety and distress. Many people with social anxiety disorder also experience strong physical symptoms, such as a rapid heart rate, nausea, and sweating, and may experience full-blown attacks when confronting a feared situation. Although they recognize that their fear is excessive and unreasonable, people with social anxiety disorder often feel powerless against their anxiety.

I hope this is clear.

  Published  8th Apr 2021 at 5:13 pm