Bonga

Hello, I'm Naranda and I feel like I'm a slave to my own imaginations. Have you ever been stressed about being stressed. Yaani, the fact that you are stressed makes you more stress. Like you could be handling your shit well, you could be providing light to the world, you could be the one showing your siblings the way. But you are there, worrying about your stress. You worry about it so much that you get high to forget that you're stressed. This is like some second-level stress. I bet there is a third-level one where you worry because you are stressed that you are stressed. Does anyone understand me? I really wanna get out of this situation, but every time I try I make two strides then fall back into the pit. I get high and forget it for a moment. I try to tell myself that everything will be alright. Where do I get the will to make things alright? I just get by. I do the minimal. I don't do what I ought to do! It's life. I'm living in my head! Another day to grow old! Without making any real progress! Sometimes I get out of my body and watch this empty shell of a being, getting through the day, doing the same, tomorrow! You're gonna get out boy! Things are going to be fine. Things are fine!

  Published  9th Aug 2019 at 5:32 pm

Hey dude, i know that feel when you're stuck in a rut. I myself am working my way out. I'm not an expert on giving advice but here's my two cents anyways. First, stop smoking. It will be hard at first bc your brain still wants that feeling of euphoria but you have to control yourself, it gets easier as time goes by. Whenever a friend offers you a smoke say "nah i'm cool" usikubali kuwa persuaded. If you find a lost and found joint, flush it, for real, this will build your confidence in reforming. Whenever you feel like smoking try and make yourself busy, i personally make tea to distract myself from thoughts of visiting my plug and it works. After a week or two you'll be fine and once you quit you'll have more time for other things, plus some little extra cash and that freeing feeling where you have nothing to hide. And never look back.

Secondly, Identify what gives you stress and deal with it. Don't try to hide from your problems, they'll just pile up to a point where you'll be overwhelmed and unable to cope when things start falling apart. You can definitely do it, you just have to take the first step and do it. Nobody will hold your hand or cheer for you, this is a solo journey. For me it was fear of failure in school that stressed me because my parents believe a degree is the key to a good life and failing meant i let them down and i will end up in the street and for some reason I care about what they think. I can say i have totally flunked this sem, but failure is part of the learning process, now i know not to skip school. If passing is what will make them proud then i will work hard and pass and bring pride unto them and myself. It's not really hard, just ask yourself "why am i stressed and how do i fix it?" and if it's possible, do it right away! What if it's impossible? Do not worry yourself with things you cannot fix, unajipea stress bure.

Third is time management. Monday to Friday(or Saturday) have a schedule in advance of things you want to do for the day. This schedule idea might sound cheesy but it works, you are less idle thus less time to think about the past or think about smoking and you get shit done on the daily, win-win. if you have a hobby, or looking for a job, plan your schedule in advance (the night before or earlier) but don't make the schedule too tight that a delay in activity 1 affects activity 2 or it feels boring like a chore, allocate an extra 20-30 minutes to each task to compensate for delays or give yourself a break before continuing. If you have no hobbies you can read a book or listen to an audiobook or just do something constructive, fill a crossword, cut the grass, learn from the internet to do something like film or write good music, anything. This will make it easy for you to sleep at night knowing you did something, and you have some new thing waiting for tomorrow.

If you wake up at 6 you have 12 hours of sunlight and 3 extra hours till 9pm. Don't ever tell yourself you don't have time to do X unless your schedule was completely full for 5 days. Set an alarm or reminder for every scheduled event so you do not forget. Remember you can use time to make money, but money cannot buy time, ask Bob collymore

Fourth, don't use social media unless you are selling something or you are a celebrity/blogger/internet personality and want to maintain status. You can check your feed on the weekends, never on weekdays. hide the app if you have to. FOMO is real and will have you spending your cash on useless pieces of shit like extra pairs of shoes or extra trousers as if you haven't got enough.

Finally, don't stress yourself over things you cannot control e.g unemployment rates or other people's feelings, etc. Focus on self improvement and your relationship with your family. Remember to live slow, if you're 10 live like a 10yo play with toys and don't bother about taxes, if you're in campus live like a student, focus on school and developing skills, if you're 30 live like a 30yo whatever they do. Make yourself proud and be the person you have always wanted to be. And if you like reading i suggest a book called "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli, it's not self help, and won't change your life but offers solid advice.

I know this reply seems like i'm imposing my lifestyle choices on you but it's your choice man. For you to achieve what you never have you must be ready to do what you never have done. Nobody will hold your hand, nobody will cheer for you, and if you succeed reward yourself for your discipline and self respect, fuck what other people think. If you feel like updating me on your progress find me on telegram @audio_narco , i'm also trying, this is my 2nd week so far so good...

Wish you the best,

Chris from that other post

  Published  10th Aug 2019 at 3:52 am

Thank you Chris from the other post. This is an insightful response. I'll have to save it. Pi don't have telegram, cause Alpha and Omega channel. I'm trying to run away from that too. I'm on reddit though u/narandamuni.

  Published  10th Aug 2019 at 5:19 pm