Bonga

Am in my 20's and am attracted more to women in 30 years and above....any advice please

  Published  8th Sep 2020 at 3:03 pm

Hello! Maybe you can try by being more clear about the age difference. Are you a young man in your early twenties attracted to women more than ten years older than you? If you are below the age of 25 then the matter is concerning. This is because at that age, you're at an age where you're still learning more about yourself and the world around you. Where do you see yourself in the next ten years? Do you want to get married and raise a family? Are you working or still a student? Do you consider yourself to be independent?

It may seem exciting and thrilling to date women way older than you as they may be more experienced, know what they want in life and have the finances to meet their needs, as well as yours. Predatory behaviour is displayed when older person seeks out a much younger partner to have a romantic relationship with. The older woman may just be focused on meeting her own needs and may use you to do so leading to pain and heartbreaks in the end. Because you're both at such different stages of your lives, you probably have different goals and are headed in different directions.

Secondly, what kind of a relationship did you have with your mother? In many instances, young men who felt that they did not receive enough love and attention from their mothers may try to seek it out from by dating older women. If this is the case then it's important that you seek therapy in order to deal with any unresolved issues.

  Published  15th Sep 2020 at 5:20 pm
Inuka Wellness ExpertInuka Wellness Kenya
Hello, when you say that you want advice in regards to dating older women, does it mean you want to stop it or you want to know if it is okay?
You have said that you are in your 20's, is your attraction to women in their 30's due to financial reasons? In search of a thrill ? Due to the fact that they are more mature and maybe play less mind games? Or is it a genuine attraction? Once you are able to identify the reason behind the attraction, then maybe you can ask yourself, is this attraction harmful? You could do a list of advantages and disadvantages. You can also ask yourself how sustainable is this attraction? Do you see yourself settling down with a wife who is older than you? Are you comfortable enough with the age Gap that you don't mind others knowing?
Hopefully answers to these questions can help you understand if this is something you would want to change or not. And if you want to change, you can work on the reasons for example if it was for financial reasons, then probably trying to live within your means even as you work towards your goals could help.
  Published  15th Sep 2020 at 7:33 pm