I feel like I empathize a lot about my partners in relationship. It comes off as clingy and unconfident. How do I start caring less?
Don't you dare!
Because in my experience, trying to change who or what you are to fit into a mould that wasn't meant for you will make you lose sight of who you are.
It's all fun and games in the beginning, and you'd even be forgiven for feeling like you are getting even/your power back, but thr truth is that will only manage to mess up the real you ie the one you grew up knowing you were/you'd be.
The trick I have learnt so far in my learning journey is every time you feel like you are caring too much and it is unrequited or that your partner feels pressured by your love lingo then chances are YOU ARE RIGHT! So don't waste time trying to see the best in the situation or shrink yourself anew to make "them" comfortable. Instead, choose you- LOVE YOU- and I promise everything will start making sense after
Just focus on you and do not allow their problem to become yours. If indeed there's a problem with them, you can point this out to them and allow them to choose whether or not to work on changing it. At the end of the day, you can't get them to do what you want.