Bonga

I feel like my parents became too absorbed in their relationship with one another that they forgot to build a relationship with us - at times I feel like I am a stranger in the house ,what should I do?

  Published  17th Feb 2021 at 10:31 am

Hello dear! Thank you for sharing. You feel like your parents are too self-absorbed in their relationship that they forgot to build a relationship with you. So much so, that you feel like a stranger in your home. I validate your frustrations. Having to go through what you go through each day must be hard for you. How do your other siblings feel about your parents? Do you get support each other?

Being the child of a self-absorbed parent is an act of helplessness. You get what you get, and that's it and you're stuck with them, for however long. And in that static state the burden of responsibility falls on the child, who laments the love of their parents. A child who has had no choice in the matter of being born, of being brought into this world - and more than that, a child who has not made an active decision about who their parents are, and what kind of parent they will be.

This kind of childhood can leave a child with such deep scars that they end up spending their lives trying to do things in order to get their parents to notice them, to see them, to look at them and to hear them and to love them.

First, try not to blame yourself for their behaviour. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful, worthy and valuable. How they treat you is not a reflection of who you are.

Understand that they too were once children and maybe had their own struggles to deal with during their childhood. They may have developed certain unhealthy ways of coping with what they were going through and this might have lead them becoming self-absorbed. Talk to them about their childhood so as to get a glimpse of what it was like.

Lastly, let them know that you feel ignored. This is clearly hurting you but they may be may be completely oblivious to that fact. Find a way to gently communicate this to them.

All the best!

  Published  18th Feb 2021 at 4:00 pm

I have the same thing and I just feel nothing.. I chose to become indifferent

  Published  20th Feb 2021 at 6:08 pm