Sometimes I feel like committing suicide. I most often think that for those 15 seconds that I will be hanging in the air with a rope around my neck about to die, I will feel the most alive I have ever felt.
I can only imagine the despair you are in right now. What is going on for you to feel like this? What do you need right now to make you feel less of this despair and look forward to tomorrow? Is there someone around you you can confide in? Kindly reach out to professional counselors willing to walk with you through this. Your nearest church, Befrienders Kenya can help for a start. I am glad you had the courage to share this, you got this.