Ive been binging since campus days. Insomnia is on and off but i sleep for like 2-3 hrs tops. I live bymyself as i left home coz of some issues of overdrinkin. I take piritons n sleepin pills n a few shots jus to sleep
Whats probably keeping you up at night is loneliness and what that looks like to you. You require peace to be able to sleep at night. On to drinking and avoiding girls. What kind of friends do you surround yourself with if the cycle of binge drinking and avoiding girls is continuous, by now I'm guessing they ought to have noticed there's a pattern or maybe you just don't are enough to quit the habit. Now on to the loneliness, it sucks I know I've been single 11yrs, there are times when you just want to be able to call that one special person and also do stuff together but could it be that person is on the other side of your destructive behavior?
Find a balance and do things that will get you distracted enough to pickup habits that make you happy.. With some cartoons, let your inner child out, do all the stupid little things that make you happy and you'll meet that peron when you're ready.. What's the point of getig into a relationship with these habits in tow.. Are you really ready, indulge in your interests, meet new people and if it happens then cool . also assess what you find attractive in people and what's attractive about you. Don't be too hard on yourself...
I get what youre sayin. Ive tried meetin new people but its hard, hard to the point that it ends up being small talk. Most pple dont wana talk about stuf everyone is aparantly doing "well" in life so if i try to connect with someone n open up they tell me "be a man all men go thru stuff" i jus see thru the facade plus i dont really think highly of myself. Yes im employed have a good side hustle that keeps me preoccupied but such things can only take you so far. I just dont know how to keep it all together. Pple always tell me i drink to much! i or dont say the the right things! Or i dnt wear the right clothes n lately that i dont look the right way.As in everyone has this notion of what im supposed,look and act. I dnt know what i wana b anymore coz no one has ever askd me what i wanna be. When i talk to pple they dislike my honest truths coz step on toes alegedly so they push me away n i let em be. Im jus soo tired of it all whats the point of havin a good job n hustle when even u cant even afford the free things in life. Fuck it