Bonga

hi, am always feeling guilty, suicidal and have negative thoughts... i was never like this growing Up, i was so positive and even loved to helping others, but life happened and change happened a little to fast, i was caught off guard and everything turned bad so fast... all i was left with was a butt load of regrets, failed dreams, a hurting heart, worries and doubts and plenty of confusions. am sure of how to turn this ship around, all i want is for my life to have a bit of structure and not chaos. please someone help

  Published  4th Apr 2021 at 7:07 pm

I think what matters now is your definition of "being positive" and "being in control" of which none of them are easy to do, I get it. I have a quote that's pretty weird but always gets me going and it's kinda funny too. It says Unless someone is dying before your eyes, it's never that serious. I'm not sure if that will help but it does for me. Just little by little brushing things aside. It may seem arrogant at first, but in the long run I realized that this is actually what feeling "positive and not worried" feels like. I hope you get better.

  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 8:44 am

Hi, it is sure a frustrating place to be. That longing for your life to have structure shows you are hopeful things will turn round. You are in the right track in seeking help.

Guilt can cause plenty of emotional and physical turmoil. Guilt and shame typically involve the concepts of acceptance and forgiveness. It’s natural to make mistakes, and sometimes these mistakes can hurt others. Whenever possible, attempting to fix the mistake or otherwise making amends may be a good step. Doing so can reduce feelings of guilt. When it isn’t possible to make amends or repair damage caused, a person might feel severe, lasting guilt. Talking with a therapist may help.

Negative thoughts can make you believe that there is no hope for a positive outcome in life. The following may help: accept that a change in the thinking process is required, listen to positive affirmations, write a daily journal (a thought challenge diary) to identify the root cause of the negative thoughts (challenge it and change it), replace negative thoughts with positive ones for example, set daily goals for yourself- they keep you motivated to take action to achieve them, engage in activities that spike happy hormones in your body like jogging, exercising or an outdoor sport, practice deep breathing and mindfulness meditation daily to stay positive, read books or listen to audio books on positive thinking.

Consider seeing a therapist who can help you work through what you are experiencing.

  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 9:25 pm

Hii, You have opted be vulnerable and REACH OUT in this platform and that is a mark of courage and hope.

You have stated "am sure of how to turn this ship around" and that all you need is your life to have structure and i believe you.

You have acknowledged that the negative feelings are a recent development because previously you were positive and you even loved helping others. As i read your note i just couldn't help but wonder, what do you suppose was your motivation to help others earlier on? Every person has emotions and we are moved to behave in a certain way depending on the various motivations. Allow me to talk them (intrinsic and extrinsic).

For example, let explain how these two types of motivation can apply to two different students in a technical school:

1) The FIRST student motivation to come to the school is to quench their curiosity, interest, pride, or a sense of achievement.

2) The SECOND student motivation to come to the school is for career building, need for certificates, get a job.

The first student motivation is intrinsic while the second students motivation is extrinsic.

However, due to the Covid-19 pandemic, they have to wait longer to get jobs. Which of the two students do you think are likely to quickly find an alternative in order to survive their situation? And so, my encouragement to you would be for you to make a serious HONEST evaluation of what gives you motivation. Joblessness presents a fraction of many CHALLENGES of life that humans are experiencing.

Feelings of guilt, suicidal feelings and negative thoughts are your current challenges.

I suggest that one of the structures you need to put in place is to establish your source of motivation to live life.

What do you think?

  Published  5th Apr 2021 at 11:03 pm

hi, thanks for the advice, my source of motivation always came from within me, there was, still is this burning desire and joy as well other unexplainable emotions to accomplish something i enjoyed or loved or even things that seem worthwhile.

  Published  6th Apr 2021 at 9:05 am

hi, thank you all for the help, you have, inspired me to go out and fight for the change i want in my life. thank you once more

  Published  6th Apr 2021 at 9:06 am

Karibu Sana

We are always here for you.

  Published  7th Apr 2021 at 9:58 pm

Yes, that's the spirit.

  Published  11th Apr 2021 at 10:59 pm